Since the Rio Olympics, when Feyisa Lilesa made an anti-government gesture during the marathon, he has traveled from country to country out of fear of going home. He worries about the family he left behind in Ethiopia. His young kids ask when they will see him again.
He just can't answer that question at the moment.
Lilesa became an international figure when he crossed his wrists at the finish line last month in Brazil on his way to a silver medal. The gesture drew global attention to the recent deadly protests in his home region of Oromia.
Concerned with what might happen to him should he return to his country, Lilesa spent over two extra weeks in Rio before arriving in the U.S. about a week ago on a special skills visa, which allows him to train and compete until January. He hasn't seen his wife, 5-year-old son and 3-year-old daughter since Aug. 17.
"If I would've taken my medal and went back to Ethiopia, that would've been the biggest regret of my life," Lilesa said through a translator in a phone interview with The Associated Press as he begins speaking out in the U.S. "I wanted to be a voice for a story that wasn't getting any coverage."
The Oromia region has experienced enormous anti-government protests in the past few months. The government is now vowing to take drastic measures to deal with mismanagement, corruption and nepotism. Yet the government has shown few signs of opening up the political space for opposition.
Many social media users have changed their profile pictures with the image of Lilesa crossing his wrists, and many are describing him as a national hero for speaking up and bringing it to the international arena.
The crossed-wrists gesture has been widely used by anti-government protesters in recent nationwide demonstrations as a sign of peaceful resistance, and before that by the Muslim community when it revolted against the government. It is meant to symbolize being handcuffed by security forces.
Lilesa is not alone, either: Fellow Ethiopian Ebisa Ejigu flashed a similar gesture when he won the Quebec City Marathon on Aug. 28. Over the weekend, another Ethiopian, Tamiru Demisse, also made the "X" sign at the Rio Paralympic Games after capturing silver in the 1,500 meters.
That solidarity meant a great deal to Lilesa.
"It gives me hope -- them following in my footsteps and making a stand by saying, 'Enough,'" said Lilesa, who has no plans to file for political asylum.
With about 40 million people, the Oromo are Ethiopia's largest ethnic group. Their region has seen anti-government protests since November 2015 that activists say have left more than 400 dead.
Ethiopia's government is often accused of silencing dissent, even blocking internet access at times. Recently, video obtained by the AP showed Ethiopian security forces beating, kicking and dragging several protesters during a rare demonstration in the capital.
There's been increased international pressure on Ethiopia and its treatment of protesters. The United States, for one, last week said it has raised "grave concerns" about what it called the excessive use of force against protesters in Ethiopia, describing the situation there as "extremely serious" and calling for an independent investigation.
"What we are asking for is peace, justice and freedom," said Lilesa, who's currently in Washington, D.C., but hoping to train in a city with a higher elevation. "If the situation continues as it is, without any change, it's going to degenerate into a conflict that could take a very, very bad direction. ... We need peace. We need change."
Lilesa said his wife's brother -- a student at Madawalabu University in Bale -- was arrested in a protest nearly eight months ago. They still don't know his whereabouts.
"One of my main concerns if she finds out her brother was one of those who were killed is, what will she do? How will she feel?" he said. "I'm not there to support her and comfort her."
Ethiopia's state broadcaster, EBC, did not re-broadcast images of Lilesa's gesture when he finished runner-up on Aug. 21. Some people who were watching live and cheering for Lilesa quickly hushed when they saw his gesture.
Lilesa said in a follow-up email he's received no backlash from the International Olympic Committee for his gesture.
"They came and asked me what the gesture was. I explained," Lilesa said. "They empathized with my situation."
And while the government assures him he will not face prosecution upon his return home and will have a "heroic welcome," as a government spokesman recently said, he's wary of it.
"Usually, what the government says and what the government does are very opposite," Lilesa said. "If change comes to Ethiopia, and the regime changes, and people are finally free, I look forward to the day I can go home and meet with my people. Live with my family in peace."