The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
With the Premier League's transfer deadline day upon us once again and an array of last-minute deals being done every hour, players all over the world are gearing up for a new challenge.
However, before they get started, some will have to experience the joy/despair of undergoing an unnecessarily elaborate unveiling display.
The lucky ones will get away with performing a few keepy-uppies in front of a small gaggle of fans but, as we've seen in the past, it could be much more embarrassing.
Club's new kit features sausages and mashed potatoes
Here we go !! 2019 season KIT NUMBER 3 https://t.co/5YL9jC6mIS— BEDALE AFC (@AfcBedale) August 8, 2019
You might not be instantly familiar with AFC Bedale but there's a good chance you'll be familiar with their kits.
For the past few years, the non-league side have adopted a sausage theme when it comes to their strips as part of their sponsorship deal with Heck Food.
Thankfully, things are set to continue into the 2019-20 season with Bedale confirming that their kits will once again be adorned with meaty morsels.
What the hell can you can say about this? Genuine shirt shirt to be worn by @AfcBedale.— Kit Crimes ⚽️ (@KitCrimes) August 7, 2019
£5 from every sale goes to @ProstateUK, so there's that. But bloody hell.
Available to buy here: https://t.co/5yToEEMfqJ pic.twitter.com/W5uy9FGzdv
The home and away goalkeeper's kits have also been made to look like a full butcher's apron (including gloves!) and a large plate full of bangers, mash and peas.
Added to that, a portion of every shirt sale will be donated to charity, which is just the icing on the cake -- or should that be the mustard on the hot dog?
David Luiz's restaurant gets 1-star reviews from jilted Chelsea fans
Sparked by reports that David Luiz is about to depart the club for London rivals Arsenal, disgruntled Chelsea fans have begun bombarding a restaurant owned by the Brazilian defender with one-star reviews on Google.
As the transfer window moved into its final 48 hours, word began to circulate that Luiz is on the cusp of joining the Gunners in an £8 million deal.
Upset by this, scores of Blues supporters began leaving negative online reviews of Babbo, an upmarket Italian eatery in Mayfair, London, which is co-owned by Luiz and Willian.
Phoney complaints of over-priced food, rude staff and curly hairs being found in meals flooded in from across the internet, though several did recommend that prospective punters "try the snake" while watching out for the "big rat" in the kitchen.
At the time of writing, the aforementioned deluge of 1-star reviews has taken Babbo's average rating on Google down to 3.6. Luiz must be devastated.