The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
Vincent Kompany returns to Manchester City on Wednesday as guest of honour for his testimonial match.
An entire constellation of stars are scheduled to turn out for the Belgium defender's big night as a team of City legends take on a side of Premier League All-Stars.
Sadly that will not include the man himself as, characteristically given his regular injury woes during his time at the Etihad, Kompany has been ruled out of his own testimonial with a hamstring issue.
Still, it's all a far cry from Kompany's debut against West Ham back on Aug. 24 2008, when Mark Hughes was manager and Thaksin Shinawatra ran the club, mere days before the Abu Dhabi United Group completed their takeover and really kickstarted City's remarkable rise to multiple Premier League champions.
Indeed, the club have come an awful long way since, even becoming the first team in football history to assemble a £1billion squad in the process -- a feat nigh-on unthinkable just a decade or so prior.
The names involved against the Hammers on that August afternoon were a little less stellar, so naturally the challenge is to correctly guess the City starting XI.
Friends Evra, Pogba react to Man United reunion
Patrice Evra has returned to Manchester United in a youth coaching capacity while he works towards his UEFA coaching badges.
The former France international spent eight years with United (2006 to 2014), winning three Premier League titles as well as the Champions League. The former left-back, 38, will assist the Under-18s who are coached by Neil Ryan.
After his first day on the job, Evra linked up with fellow Frenchman, current United midfielder and friend Paul Pogba. The pair, among the most active and vibrant football personalities on social media, fittingly did a video to celebrate their reunion with the Red Devils.
"Just be serious. We are here to work hard."— utdreport (@utdreport) September 11, 2019
Patrice Evra and Pogba reunited at Carrington 🇫🇷 pic.twitter.com/dFUnCBEBnZ
Evra, known for his infectious personality, says "Just be serious. We are here to work hard." That said, with Pogba and Evra now at the same club, expect plenty of fun and plenty of social media videos from Old Trafford as well!
Cristiano Ronaldo's kids reacting to him scoring is adorable
Cristiano Ronaldo created history once again on Wednesday night by scoring his eighth international hat trick in Portugal's 5-1 win over Lithuania.
Furthermore, Ronaldo also took his tally of goals scored in European Championship qualifiers to 25, thus overtaking Robbie Keane (23) to become the new record holder.
The feats on show in Vilnius were widely heralded, but the cutest celebrations came back home in Turin, where Ronaldo's kids cheered after seeing their old man on television.
The Juventus star now has 93 international goals overall, meaning he's just 16 goals behind the all-time record, held by Iranian legend Ali Daei -- so that's probably just a matter of time too.
Antonio Conte endures awkward moment in front of Juve-baiting Inter fans
Inter Milan roped their players into appearing at the grand launch of their brand new third kit.
The fans in attendance soon ramped up the atmosphere by chanting "If you don't jump, you're a Juve fan" en masse at the team.
The entire squad jumped bar one notable exception: coach Antonio Conte, who remained stoic and cross-armed.
Why, you'd never guess Conte used to both play for and manage Juve, would you?