The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.
Manchester United have revealed their new away kit for the 2019-20 season.
Replacing last year's washed-out pink number is a similarly understated shirt that at first glimpse appears to be rendered in gold snakeskin.
However, the "savannah-toned aesthetic" is actually an homage to the artists of Manchester, particularly the array of mosaics found dotted around the streets of the Northern Quarter.
As per the club themselves, the striking new shirt supposedly "continues blurring the lines between sport and style."
Sturridge shares Stormzy-inspired track after stolen dog returned
Daniel Sturridge has been through the mill this week after thieves broke into his home in Los Angeles and stole several personal items -- including his dog.
The former Liverpool striker made a public plea for the safe return of Lucci, his beloved Pomeranian puppy, even offering up a £30,000 reward.
Thankfully, the story has a happy ending as Lucci was returned to Sturridge on Thursday, leading the forward to drop a track to celebrate.
"Lossi Dog," which uses Stormzy's "Vossi Bop" as a backing track, was made by a fan using snippets of the original plea that Sturridge made after finding Lucci had been dognapped.
Pogba scores painful fluke goal in training
What a goal pic.twitter.com/hBW0wPLmG4— Simon Stone (@sistoney67) 11 July 2019
Paul Pogba scored an unorthodox goal as Manchester United held an open training session at the WACA cricket ground in Perth, Australia this week.
It might have been painful and a massive fluke to boot, but that didn't stop the France midfielder celebrating after somehow scoring with his stomach.
Ouch. That's going to smart.
Guiding the ball past the goalkeeper with your abdomen is fairly impressive, though the same probably can't be said about Ashley Young's "assist."
Marseille lose preseason friendly at Accrington Stanley (who are they?!)
🤔 Want to read more about #asfc's win over @OM_English?— Accrington Stanley FC (@ASFCofficial) 11 July 2019
📝 Here's our match report, as first half goals from Sean McConville and @zanzala10 saw John Coleman's side to a 2-1 win.
➡️ https://t.co/36iBOJU0sX #OurStanley pic.twitter.com/TuoIsJoiWX
The preseason schedule always throws up a raft of odd results as established teams enjoy double-figure victories over local minnows, etc.
Indeed, when League One side Accrington Stanley faced Marseille in a friendly on Thursday, everybody expected a fairly routine win for the nine-time Ligue 1 champions, coached by Andre Villas-Boas.
However, as unlikely as it may sound, Stanley went ahead on the 28-minute mark, doubled their lead before half-time, hung on after a late Thauvin consolation and eventually won the match 2-1.
It might not count for much, but seeing off former Champions League winners on home turf is a result that is sure to live long in Accie memories, and gives them another claim to fame beyond their name-check in a British TV ad that became a cult favourite in the 1980s.
If they didn't before, Marseille's players certainly know who Accrington Stanley are now!