A bizarre, scandal-plagued year in sports has finally expired, bringing us ever closer to the purity of ESPN's 2004 Great Outdoor Games, which will be held in Madison, Wisc., this July. That's when we'll see if Little Morgan can avenge a stunning loss to Skeeter in the Big Air competition.

I am not making this up.

With hyperbole only the ESPN self-promotion machine could manage, Skeeter's victory over Little Morgan last summer in Reno, Nev., was described as "an upset comparable to Buster Douglas over Mike Tyson."

Well, this is about dogs.

	Was Skeeter's performance a Buster Douglas-caliber upset?

Skeeter, a 3-year-old female black Labrador retriever from Parker, Texas, won with a leap of 23 feet, 3 inches. That's off a dock and into the water, for you Big Air-challenged folks.

Skeeter won the gold medal, a year's supply of treats, an Annika Sorenstam bobblehead doll and the newly released DVD "Lassie Comes Home After Flunking a Drug Test at the Great Outdoor Games."

Defending champion Little Morgan, a 4-year-old male black Lab from Shakopee, Minn., settled for the silver, a used chew toy and a letter of condolence from Vijay Singh. Let's see, a favorite from Minnesota loses in the clutch. Little Morgan and the Vikings must drink out of the same dish.

For Skeeter and Little Morgan, the thrill of victory wasn't much different than the agony of defeat. Not so for their partners in air.

"Somebody needs to pinch me and make sure I'm not dreaming," said Terry Casey, who handles Skeeter. "This has always been a dream."

Little Morgan's handler was much more devastated than Little Morgan, who holds the world record of 26-6 but doesn't know it. "I don't know if I made a bad throw or if he left too early," Mike Jackson said.

Amazing, isn't it? Sammy Sosa said the exact same thing after a runner scored on a sacrifice fly last summer.

Other handlers took great delight in Little Morgan's misfortune.

"It's good for the sport," said Milt Wilcox, a former big league pitcher who competed with Sparky. "It lets everyone know you can bring your dog in here and have a chance."

Sounds like the NFL. How great is that?

So anyone who needs trees trimmed, firewood chopped, a fly tied, a dog trained, or log-rolling lessons for the kids should contact ESPN ASAP. Ask for Michael Irvin, who will take your call as soon as he's finished defending the latest NFL clown following in his footsteps.

Until the dogs come calling, we'll have to bide our time remembering some unforgettable moments of 2003, and hoping for the best in 2004.

Content courtesy The Capital Times. For more, visit www.madison.com/captimes/.